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The Dark Night of the Soul (and the Light on the Horizon)

You don't need me to tell you we're going through some tough times.

All of us are being challenged. Tested. Some with relatively minor inconvenience, and some with truly existential terrors--severe illness, losing loved ones, loss of income, partial or total, in a country that--for all its Christian posturing--despises the poor.

In some ways, I've been lucky. My aged parents are doing well so far, and my siblings and their families seem well-protected. I don't have a family of my own, so even though my work hours have been reduced, so I don't have to worry about providing for anyone but myself.

But I am in the shit, as they say. No two ways about it. A perfect storm of mid-life crisis and isolation has triggered a return of the savage loneliness I'd thought I'd defeated via my work with the substantia and consequent spiritual awakening.

It seems I've entered the Dark Night of the Soul.

Since the term was first employed in the writings of Catholic mystic…
Recent posts

A Gnostic Myth for the 21st Century

I want to make it clear that the following material has emerged spontaneously from the intensive visionary work I've been doing for the past three years. The ideas and images come in piecemeal; this is my initial attempt to fashion them into a coherent narrative. It's not a self-conscious attempt to update the Gnostic mythos for the 21st century, although it's working out that way. It serves as strong explanatory model for the apocalyptic events currently gaining momentum and suggests a means to avert disaster.

The Emanationists (all the various kinds, Gnostics, Hermeticists, Platonists, etc.) described a model of reality that is divided into fractally self-similar levels. It begins with an Ultimate Ground of Being, a No Thing Changeless and Eternal, a Void of Pure Intellect. Intellect requires an object; being all that is (and is not), the Void can only reflect upon Itself. In so doing, it divides into two opposite and complementary halves that, for lack of better …

Miracles Are Available to You

Incarnating the Goddess in one's consciousness is a relatively simple procedure. Alter your consciousness. Put on powerful music played at high volume. Concentrate. Feel. That's all there is to it, really. In the video below, the grandeur of Strauss' theme is moving enough, but coupled with the image of Kwan Yin emerging from the pleroma of white light, it's an overwhelmingly emotional experience. Intense emotion is what yields the visionary apprehension of the Divine called "gnosis."

Emotion is Spirit. It is a frequency of Her infinite energy. What you'll see in this video is me tapping into that, just for a moment. It pretty much fries my circuits...but what matters is that it supercharges my psyche. Remnants of that energy remain when the peak experience is over. That energy will nourish you when you're back in the "real" world, no matter how grim your circumstances are.

I'm posting this because I want you to know that this …

The Ups and Downs of Archetypal Activation

I make a lot of allusions to "what I've been going through," but unless you're one of the seven or eight people who've read the book I wrote about it, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Here's a post I cobbled together based on a question I answered in another forum. It explains why my experience of archetypal activation is both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me.

When it first started, I was not inexperienced with psychedelics. I'd used LSD a few times, ecstasy a couple times, mushrooms maybe ten times, and ayahuasca thirty-four times. But on one particular night in late May 2017 I stumbled across a way of entering into a really heightened emotional state listening to a particular song while in an altered state of consciousness. It caused an at-that-point-for-me novel experience of energy waves flooding my body, intense images of concentration camps (due to the song), and a spontaneous ritual action of holding th…

Achieving Gnosis via "Moonage Daydream"

About three years ago I, like many others have before me, got the messianic/prophetic call while in way over my head on a high dose of psychedelic substantia. It's not all that unusual and most people have the common sense to ignore it, but not this guy. It was accompanied by an astonishing vision of a religion of the science fictional future, and a practical plan to realize it. It was so interesting that even though I was terrified for my sanity I decided to roll with it and see where things went.

Now, at this point, I've developed a pretty unique approach to the utilization of psychedelics. It allows one to achieve visionary states functionally identical to classical gnosis while maintaining a near-sober level of lucidity, even on very high doses. In the following video, I'm working with 8g of substantia turboboosted with a 3g water extract of Syrian rue and multiple hits of pot. I'm posting the clip here in the hopes somebody will find it interesting and want to dis…

Skillfully Wielding Emotion as a Weapon of Transformation

The (very rare) occasions when someone is honestly interested in what I'm up to provide an invaluable opportunity for me to articulate my thoughts. As they say, you don't understand anything until you can explain it to someone else. That ability improves with practice. From Reddit:

"I am curious about this heightened sense of emotionality. In my practice I normally see emotion as the response of the body and tend to disregard it. Is there any filter you use towards emotions? Any meditation techniques (sans substance , well except for maybe wine or cannabis) you would recommend to someone who tends to highly value serenity over emotional experience? I think balance is important, and I think you may have some insights that would help me out."

In response I wrote,


To gain skill in accessing and skillfully wielding emotion, sing along to your favorite songs. Every recorded pop and rock song has been carefully engineered to created a certain kind of emotional …

The Martyred Innocent

Another Reddit exchange. Someone commented, "Why do you have a picture of Anne Frank? That is inappropriate. Having a picture of her may work for you, but you don't need this material to achieve your aims. You can imagine the archetypal Jewish laborer of the time and the pain they suffered. Or you can imagine any other suffer of tragedy and feel the same way. Choosing a popular historical figure that just so happens to be a little girl is creepy and inappropriate. Let Anne sleep in peace already."

I replied,

Stalin said, "One murder is a tragedy, a million murders is a statistic." It's impossible to think about killing on that scale. Anne was chosen because in trying to own the great sin of genocide, all you can do is think about one face, one name, one story you know as well as if she told it to you herself. Which Anne did, in "Diary of a Young Girl." It's a story we all know. To confront the collective Shadow by meditating on her f…