The First Church of David Bowie, Phonomancer

Here's the raw transcript from the phonomantic rite I conducted on Monday, September 19th, 2022. I'm making a conscious decision to put this in the "W" column. It came at a real cost. Judging by my affect in the videos and my own accounting of the experience, it was a huge success, but it left me absolutely exhausted. Today I'm still a wreck. With a few notable exceptions, the mushroom magic, that energy that makes everything effortless, was unavailable, and I contended with the Enemy for four solid hours with only my own limited human resources to sustain me. I was given no access to the spirit world. Stuck the whole time in maya, even though I believed very much in the reality of what is happening. I had a very clear sense that I was being denied that wonderful sense of breaking through on purpose--my higher Self, or somebody, was testing my limits. In the hours after the ceremony I was attacked by a savage depression and a horrible sense of futility that was ac...

I wanted to talk a little bit about the art of doing yoga while you’re afraid. Before ceremonies I often get waves of dread that are really unmanning. They make me want to have nothing to do with what I’m about to do. I get a sense of the abyss of madness I could fall into. Part of me just quails, and I really have to discipline myself to not turn tail and run. It requires a lot of courage. Even when it’s not that bad it settles into a knot in my heart, a sense of constriction in my chest. What I try to do is just breathe into it. I try to feel that sense of energy moving through my body which could just be tingles representing the activity of my nervous system, but I choose to interpret it as the energy of life, consciousness, Spirit, the God/dess—all those things being synonymous. Taking calm breaths while your body is locked in fear is an interesting challenge. You’re trying to relax while your body is in revolt. The tension can be really intense—almost unbearable. As it i...

Religion doesn't have to be superstition or oppression. It can be a way for people to have a shared experience of the Divine Mystery.  Sharing can amplify the experience past anything they can achieve on their own. It can also provide a community that anchors that experience, making it easier to integrate into everyday life.  You don't have to take religion literally for it to be effective.  You can understand it's all metaphor. There is in fact no way to nail down the nature of what it is you are experiencing. And your personal experience is what matters. Your unique perspective. Your individual adventure. We can all learn from each other.  You'll naturally gravitate towards those who have experiences that resonate with yours. This doesn't invalidate the lived experience of those encountering something that doesn't at all resemble what you're discovering at the root of your being.  They're all correct. Just incomplete.  The more versions of the D...