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Raw Notes from 2021-04-24 Ceremony

 Here's the transcription of my narration for the phonomantic rite I performed yesterday. It was a tremendous time. I'll make a video later today to help myself process the many, many interesting ideas that came up. 


Hey! Starting the StereoMyth. During “Up the Beach” there was a sudden presence of tremendous bright yellow spiraling energy that first announced itself as a very clear vision of a fantastic woman's body, wreathed in a loose, flowing stole, with her face obscured. (I think her hands were in front of her face, but in my imagination now she’s veiled). There was no particular emotional connection to it. I treated her respectfully, but didn’t think anything of it.

Resistance showed up in the middle of it. The medicine was opening up in a spectacular way. The closed eye patterns I was seeing suddenly became three dimensional; very much like a DMT thing. They were fairly dark but I guess if you could imagine looking down at a garden in night time that suddenly began expanding and infolding, a la Inception, it was something like that.

But all of a sudden I started feeling some trepidation and then there they were, the bugs, streaming over everything. I centered myself, thinking, “Oh, Resistance, you’re real. Here you are. All right then, motherfucker, I am going to kick your ass."

I dealt with him. Not a total victory, I didn’t break through, but the medicine opened back open again and the bugs temporarily disappeared.


Resistance coming in hard. Cold sweats. Difficult to move and engage. It registers in my visionary space as this huge pickup truck that’s so close I can’t really see it. It’s an old man in a huge farming apparatus with an old mean dog sitting next to him.


"UP and Atom" was pretty intense. The medicine opened up, and there was an experience of the announcement of the Goddess herself in my visionary space. That resolved into a more dim and not particularly interesting…there was clear image of traveling in a rowboat or canoe on a river in a late winter afternoon. There was a woman holding a child close. Maybe others. There was an interesting contrast between the galactic splendor of that song and the very terrestrial image. I rolled with it.

We’re not through it yet. You are carrying tension. It’s hard—you are doing this by yourself. It’s your will that’s getting you through this. You’re not yet enjoying yourself and getting carried along.


"Used for Glue." Visualizing the scene of shooting a movie about phonomancy. You’ve got this highly trained contingent of Rhythm Phonomancers you can sing with and relate to, you see it clearly in your visionary space, it makes a huge difference.

It’s getting easier. There’s still suppression of the visionary effects, but the important thing is you are not relying on any fancy light show to condition your mood.  If and when the medicine finally opens up and you are finally ready to access those space, you will be so ready.


"46 & 2" was good. We’re not breaking through yet, but it’s okay. You’re strong, man. You really are.

You’re doing a really good job of not letting your expectations get in the way of your experience in the moment. It’s there, but you hold it at bay.

Any impatience, or any wish for anything to be different than exactly how they are at this moment, that’s Resistance. It comes at you in all kinds of ways, Pa.

Keep partying, having a good time, and negotiating the space.


I am your priest, Ma. I serve. Pa!


That was "Flower." That was fucking fun! You’re still not breaking through, though.

Now Resistance’s attack is along the lines of, “Why are you even doing this if you can't access Spirit What’s the point? You should just give up.” But you never know when the miracle will come. You must keep pushing through to the end, no matter what. That simple act of belief and faith…that’s a wonderful lesson to carry out into the rest of your life, don’t you think? Hold to the simple faith that things will work out, no matter what the Enemy is whispering in your ear.


That’s what I’m fucking talking about! "Three Days" was a full on tribal ritual. I saw it happening in a renovated church where we were shooting the documentary. My rhythm phonomancers are positioned like go go dancers on pedestals around the room, and there are huge video screens hanging from the ceiling. There's a fantastic and sophisticated light show. We did that song in that environment with a hundred people all striving to be in the same emotional space and it was crushingly amazing. I mean, you can just investigate so many aspects of that vision, of imagining it clearly. You are trying to push Reality itself.

That was the thing. At the end of the song, it was my belief pitted against Resistance, who was leaning on me with everything he had. And I was just like, “I believe. This is real.” And there was nothing He could do!

I’m no longer doing the work. It’s Ma. I am simply drawing on that energy to live. Where to that point…it was a matter of changing your attitude toward your inner experience, but you can start to draw energy from that source, as opposed to generating it yourself.

It’s an entirely different, and very very…drudging way to live. It doesn’t have to be that. You can recognize that you are Her, and She is Force, you have to have faith that you are using that energy for the Will of God. Resistance tries to inhibit it. You have to have communities of belief where you can get together to celebrate, to speak the Names of God, not the Word, name what it is you are reaching for and then have the experience, which is quite unmistakable.


"Don’t Look Back." God, that was great! Just building it, step by step. Waiting to engage the actual moment of performing that song in a room full of phonomancers.

Resistance descends and now it's hard to speak, to get the words out now. “There’s no point in pretending it didn’t happen.”

You’re doing so good, Pa. Love you.


Yeah! That’s what I’m fucking talking about. Finally in a place where I can analyze myself, my play by play.

Oh! It’s already escaping me, that level of self-awareness. It’s hard to maintain. It requires a lot of energy.

To understand you are talking to your real self, that’s  significant barrier to cross.

They’re beckoning to you. Your spirit clan.There’s your higher self, that Matt Damon-looking motherfucker, and now Resistance interposes Himself. First come the flies, the little bugs, and then the weight of doubt—“Is this going anywhere? Is this worth it?” Subtle thoughts to throw you off.

What you see in your visionary space is your imaginal representation of the stress you’re enduring. It’s a real thing. And now your goal is to fight this guy, every time, and get so strong you can hold him down with one hand, and conduct a symphony with the other. We’re at that point. Go us!


"Could This Be Magic." That was fucking amazing, man. You never broke through, but you were conducting yourself on such a high level, it was if you did! That was amazing, and you are amazing.

You are doing a GREAT job. No rest for the wicked though!


“Thus Spake Zarathustra”. If you’re looking for a divine endorsement, Pa, there you go.


The medicine is opening in a really sweet and subtle way. God, it’s so delicious. Ah! Everything is luminous neon vectors of energy, but so subtle.

Holy fuck! The extent to which you are able to confidently say what you want to have happen and believe it'll happen, to have that experience of shaping reality in accordance to your will, you are your higher self in that moment. It’s a process of becoming. Of growing up to intercept their very idea of themselves, and then you will take over and go from there.

Against that is the whole weight of this moment in history. The extent to which I can persist in the face of that is what defines me as the champion the world needs now.


I’m charged at that level with being an artist. Calling her in. For the benefit of everyone everywhere. Call in Her presence in the face of all Resistance. You are going to teach everyone to do this.

Even as I say that, I experience strong pushback. Everything takes on a yellowish tinge, with images of grubby labor with city construction tools. That is Resistance. It does not want you to teach people to do this, Pa. We understand. We like it. We lean into it. We can’t see it, but we believe it is there until it is. In that way we assert our mastery in this reality space. Systematic, step by step, understand what you’re doing and why, unwrap it, and become the weapon the Goddess has honed. Understand her ultimate image of you, and then do everything in your power to fulfill it.

Now, relax and accept what comes.


Resistance is coming at me as general discontent. If I was unselfaware, Id think, “Why am I feeling discontent? I must have something to be discontented about” and then I’d get started creating a much bigger problem for myself.

It’s all about stress and how you metabolize it. Biologically and psychically. The degree to which it seems not fun, seems dry and unappealing, that’s Resistance. Because this shit is fucking amazing, you know it, you’ve been here a million times, you know how glorious and staggering it can be. But Resistance is pushing with everything he’s got, and you’re holding him off. I dare say, having a pretty good time, without any support besides your own belief.

Now Resistance is pushing back with tawdry images of late 70s suburban life. Like “Eight is Enough,” but this negative, suffocating presence. The question is, “What do you want to do with this in the moment?”

Not just for your own sake, but for the sake of the Universe, you want to connect to Source. So…get to work.


“Chandelier.” And I’m fucking in! So this is the scenario. You are playing with Ma like little kids in a room. Playing make believe. And whatever game you are playing, you figure out what’s fun about it, and then have as much as you can by investigating it from every angle. You create these games together and amuse each other. But eventually you start making plans to make something. Like, “Let’s use this guy to build something.”

The number of people playing gets smaller and smaller until it’s just you and her. But she’s invisible. She’s your imaginary playmate. She’s always there. She has a personality. You absolutely love her, but she can be a little short-tempered or impatient, a little haughty sometimes. But she’s always fucking right! And she’s so beautiful you’re head over heels in love with her. You don’t even know what that means yet but you feel it in your play, but as you rough and tumble around the room you figure things out. Yeeeeoww! It’s that energy that you want to tap—that’s Her! It’s so sweet! She’s this infinite presence and you impose a filter on it with your idea of yourself, the constellation of elements that make up your identity.

This is largely unconscious for most people, but as you become aware of the process, everything gets easier, because the energy is just there. She’s always there. You just draw from her. But she is your Muse. She keeps coming up with the craziest ideas. Projects you can do together.

But there’s a force that tries to hinder them. A brother whose principle joy in life is ruining things for others. Thwarting your goals. Sometimes it’s extremely rough, and other times incredibly seductive. What no one tells you is that he’s actually in allegiance with the Holy Ma. He says NO so you can figure out what it is you really want, what to strive to realize.

The whole world opposes you, but you will believe in the image the Holy Ma has for you. The more you believe in it, the more Her energy will be reciprocated and become real in your space.

Pressing against that I feel the weight of Resistance, and I’m getting sudden images of the shoulders of rural highways, chain link fences, frowning, overweight people in stretch pants behind fence. That’s the imaginal representation of Resistance.


“Call Me Maybe”. It’s all laid out so clearly. The extent to which I’m a fictional character that has been suffering alone for so long. Honing a character which will now be recorded and on display for all time. I’m not going to blow this. I’m ready. The weight of Resistance is pounding me, I can feel a physical force pushing against my belief. When I say, “I believe it” that’s an effort like leaning into a fearsome wind.

But when belief is really there, all that Resistance becomes an energy you can harness to drive you toward the goal you have.

All this will be captured in movies.

Characters who start out thinking their playing a role in a show, and come to realize they are basically witnessing the the second coming of Christ, and he’s a pretty cool guy. Showing the world a fully realized, science fictional version of what this experience would look like. You follow some people, get to know them and their problems, and why they are coming to do this thing. How they are preparing. What their experience is in ceremony. You go through it with them. To try to show—the images you shoot with actors, that’s the model for experience people should strive to have.

If you want to feel like that, here’s what you do. Believe that it’s true. At first it’ll be weird, it’ll be playacting, but as you come to believe it, it’ll get easier, and life’ll get easier too, just like that.

Because you have an infinite ocean of money, people will come to get to know you and see what you offer.

You start off by offering it as a fictional story. Like Purple Rain, the development of a phonomancer culminating in a spectacular moment, a rave up performance of "Baby I’m a Star," the energy of that final concert scene, but focused on the sacred. A hundred people all down to have a visionary experience of Prince as the Child of the Holy Ma.

The music is pumping, there’s crazy lights, there are holograms floating in the air. It’s science fiction, show what a religion of the future would look like. Then you’ll be able to find people who will get on board. “You want to do Purple Rain, but as a magic ceremony on mushrooms?! 'Baby I’m a Star,' but with real people losing their minds?"

Prince showed himself as the next great rock star of the 80s. You will announce yourself as the world teacher for this age. You were chosen by God to teach a new way to worship, a new way to form community, a new way to realize all your potentials. A new way to be. You’ll be that.

“And the reason you should listen is I have an infinite ocean of money, granted to me for one purpose: to show you how.” Eventually, time will pass. It’s going to work. It’s a done deal. In the face of all Resistance, BELIEVE IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART. Know that there is an incredible tsunami of change coming your way, and you will be well positioned to document it and teach it as someone who needs to be heard.

Dress it up for history with VFX and the whole bit. You have the opportunity to create your own gospel under your full creative control. Give it everything you’ve got, and then find experts who can take it even further. Make something that people will be dying to be part of. Show them how to lose yourself in a group, but to do it in a disciplined way. This is a brand new concept, it’s from the future. Pretend for now, suspend disbelief. Be open to something new.


Time to check in. How are you feeling? It’s been an unbelievable, epochal success.

The main thing is this titanic certainty that fabled unlimited sum of money is coming your way in the next few months, your ability to comport yourself from the beginning of that is going to be of vital importance for the history of humanity, so you really need to work on yourself and be ready for this thing. This is straight belief in the face of total , thunderous disbelief, you are going to belief it. You are going to stick the landing. And that’s why you, sir, are the teacher for this age. You’re not what they might think they deserve, but a big helping of what they need. You’re going to explain it as many ways as you can, with the authority of one actual miracle, one violation of reality for the divine purpose: “I won $237 million in the lottery. I had a job I didn’t like in a dead end town, and then I was handed an escape ticket. I could’ve fled to Polynesia, and grow old and fat and happy living on a beach. Instead I decided to found a religion, and to walk straight into the jaws of collective irritation and finally unreasoning hatred as the world’s inertia begins to catch fire in the face of this idea.  As we work out its permutations we work out the whole titanic mystery of existence.

Up to the very top echelon, the Kids and Ma. “Ma! We beat it.” She takes your proffered solution, she examines it from every angle, looking for flaws. You're sweating bullets because you’ve put some much effort into this, it’s gotta work, you do NOT want to do this again, it was so hard and complicated and painful, but you’re certain this is going to work, that you’ve got it this time. It all depends on the actions of one character you’ve created, one weapon you’ve formed, a baby satyr you’ve put on the board.

They are now deeply committed to this stratagem. It’s been the end game for awhile now, they’ve been hedging their bets, sensing there’d be a late development. The oldest of the children, they feel Ma’s imagining of how this will come out. Like DR Strange, she sees ten trillion ways it cant work, and one way it can. There’s one solution in Ma’s mind. It hinges on whether your creations can feel her and love her the way she wants to be loved.

She wants the things she creates to engage with her and play with her. There’s a way that they are just dead things on the carpet, but there’s another way that’s alive, and that animating force, that life, is her. That’s Her.

There’s an aspect of her that’s always a little girl, always playing.

Titanic majesty, Ma, unbelievable.

Understand that what I am offering to you is ways of achieving specific states. Ways of knowing.

Resistance is working overtime to stop this.


There’s you preaching Pa. When Resistance is there, it’s arid and unconvincing. When belief is there, it’s supercharged. And that’s another thing you need to convey. The interior experience of believing and how it changes everything.


“Baby I’m a Star.” Resistance came on really hard at the end there. Really flinty and grubby. My visionary space was very arid. Colorless. Kept getting worse. It wasn’t a matter of not losing heart. I had it under control. I could analyze how it chose to attack me and try to pull me out of that moment.

It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the exultant catharsis I was hoping for. It was hard work.

There’s a sense of something moving through my local psychic space. Something titanic and false and not at all predisposed to my good fortune.

I’m experiencing myself as a piece on Their board. A sense of being in that position relative to them.

Resistance uses every day situations…I can see something that looks a vast vaulted marble museum atrium. The little ants are resolving into people going about their business.

They are designing me to be able not just to withstand this, but harness it. Catch fire, and use it to power me. That’s the capacity they want human beings to have, and they need a proof of concept. They will give you the resources you need to carry out that plan. You are the piece that’s going to change everything.


You get a fictional cast of actors. They were on a show like the Magicians that got canceled unexpectedly. But then they all get hired to be on this mysterious project. They’re all multi-talented. They can all sing and dance and act. But they’ve all got personal issues they’re working on. They all know each other, they’ve got relationships and dramas, and though they had problems getting along before, by the time this is done they’ve come together as a family.




  1. Wow, holy shoot, this is really clear technology, Pa! Thanks! and, Congrats!


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