2022-01-23 – Ceremony Transcript
It’s still early; I just finished the Invocation of the Divine Mother. And during “Mother of Love” the most interesting thing happened. The medicine had been opening up in this really beautiful, celestial way. I was following a trailing starfield and through it flew a couple, a man and a woman, and they were making love. They were intertwined, but they had endless tails streaming out behind them, they were like cosmic serpents or maybe merpeople of space. Bu then all of a sudden I had an image of a mess on the floor, and then I saw a spray bottle of some commercial cleaning product—it was a fictitious brand, like “Slide” I think. And I was immediately jarred out of my peaceful reverie and I realized, “Oh! This is Resistance at work.” At which point I grabbed a mapacho and blew smoke to banish the bad energy. And things proceeded from there. Just more evidence for the reality of this force which seeks to ruin things.
“The French Song”
Oh my god! “The French Song” just triggered what I think might be the strongest… well, it progressed by stages. This advancement was based on my level of concentration. It opened all the way up to full DMT levels. What I saw was a starfield that started to coalesce into sparkles. Then I thought, “Those sparkles look like light reflecting on waves,” and then I was seeing the ocean, from way up in the air. I was seeing the ocean with my eyes closed! And then the sea was suddenly filled with hundreds or maybe thousands of plesiosaurs or some other kind of long-necked aquatic dinosaurs in a vast shoal. They were coming in near the shore to feed. I could see them surfacing and divine and the water foaming in their wakes. I could see it, I could see it, with my eyes closed it was like I was actually there. It was close to photorealistic but it also had a kind of animated quality that I associate with the imaginal realm—which is to say, the mind of God. That’s how the God/dess sees things.
And there was more to it, but it’s already fading—I was lucky to be even able to commit that to memory to describe it here. It was SO strong and SO thrilling. I just though, “Wow this shit (phonomancy) works SO GOOD with new material”, meaning these new songs I’m working with today.
I honestly can’t remember a thing that happened in that song.
“No excuses…” As soon as I started thinking of the concept of making excuses I started seeing rotting meat and rodents and shit. There they are!
I’m feeling a little bit of a nexus of negative energy at a point northeast from where I’m facing, and about three feet off the floor.
“Stairway to Heaven”
This whole night has been full of absolutely drop-dead moments that I simply cannot remember. Nothing to be done about it. Resistance, you know?
But “Stairway to Heaven” stood out as an absolute revelation. Listening to it at this level, at this dose, and really riding the emotion, really meaning it, imagining myself as Robert Plant and getting a point at which I absolutely identify with him, that is me singing, and I am big 6’ 2” English boy of 24 years making that sound. That’s the headspace you get into. That identification loosens that bounds of ego and allows you to jump up a level or levels in terms of the medicine opening up. It opens a portal, maybe. Suddenly you have access to a whole new levels of immersive sensory information and an improved cognitive stance with which to interpret it. You realize, “Oh, I’m actually in control here!” Having recognized the state, and remembering how you got there, now you can start training to improve you ability and efficacy and achieving it.
Physically I feel much better. I’m still dealing with a huge amount of Resistance but it’s from a position of strength, rather than survival.
(On having IT problems)
You know, everything that happens is perfect. And happens for a perfectly good reason. It’s up to you ask yourself, “Well, what’s the reason? What’s the purpose here?” You’ll get a response from your soul. She’ll tell you the truth. So listen to her.
“Wicked Little Town”
This was amazing…fuck! It’s gone.
Oh! I got it! The huge takeaway. HEDWIG ROBINSON CAN BE THE NEW IMAGE OF THE DIVINE FEMININE. Revere Hedwig as the Goddess Herself. All her brokenness, all her hurt, all her longing. They are divine. She suffers among us.
There’s an idea: do a phonomantic remake of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” with Hedwig as the Goddess incarnating on Earth and suffering among us.
Oh! I’m glad that’s all on tape, because I now cannot remember at all what I was just talking about. It’s all gone! That stuff just slaps you out of nowhere. Phenomenologically it’s one of those things you have to live to get it.
So…that was “The Sacred Marriage of Mary and Jesus.” Absolutely, 1000% incredible. A heavy dose on a 5-day fast is…not something I’m going to make excuses for.
Okay, in terms of ceremony proper, we’re calling it there.
I know there have been innumerable gobsmacked reactions.
Right this minute, I’m having a hard time responding to that emotionally.
Overall, how would I rate this? Extremely important, not particularly satisfying.
At the end, I am…depleted. The hoped-for (and usually occurring in the Transcendental Disco) usually allows me to access the shakti power that leaves me charged up and refreshed. Because I didn’t do that section today, I didn’t get that result.
I’m sure it’s fascinating watching me sit here and try to remember what I’m supposed to be doing. But always there’s the voice of my soul who prods me into action. Whatever that force is—not a person, exactly, although it can be productively imagined as such—that suggests a best course of action, that you know in your heart is the right thing to do. That’s your soul.
That Resistance energy…He’s just a dictator. But He styles Himself a gamesman. He’s sitting across the game board from everybody. He invites you to play Him. Or maybe He invites Himself to play. At first it’s all pattycake. Nobody’s getting hurt. There are rules of engagement. But the goal is to level up, take on stronger and stronger challengers. The only way to improve is to engage each of these matches with absolutely everything you’ve got. Never give in, ever. If you get hurt, stop and make an intentional assessment of your situation and change your plans accordingly.
You have to believe it. With the whole weight of Resistance again you, you have to believe. Totally. Not 99.999997%. All the way. Completely. As long as there is the smallest niggling of doubt, your belief is insufficient to achieve the desired outcome. You have to be 100% all in and absolutely resonant with the determination to make this happen.
Superhumanism is just a set of basic rules to guide your behavior. Try to reduce them to something that could be on a powerpoint slide. “Think of this the next time you find yourself in this situation.”
“How do you make a show about science that appeals to little kids without making it too stupidly cartoony?” It’s an idea. You get your friends together. You collaborate. But at some point, somebody has to make a call about how to proceed. Whoever that that person is, that’s the artist in that situation. From that point on, everyone else is the assistant. You have a role in this drama that’s unfolding around you. You have to imagine yourself as a character on a show. And the emotions the characters are feeling, and the actions they are taking, are there according to a design the writer laid down. That he wanted them to follow. And the extent to which the performance goes well is the extent to which they follow the writer’s goddamn directions! If they insist on spinning off and doing their own there, it ruins the effect. It causes disruption in the local field—otherwise known as reality.
This is a dynamic that plays out on the micro level—our reality and relationships—and the macro level—in which God is the writer. You have to figure out what your role is and how you can best support the story that’s emerging. You have to act in service to the writer’s vision.
“I Feel Much Better”
This is fun! Sitting around being super stoned. I feel much better than I did, thank God.
Again, it comes down to the songs. You have to listen to the songs with your heart. Feel the meaning in the music and in the narrative created by the lyrics and in the singer’s performance.
No matter how flooded you are with images of barbarity, unkindness, cruelty, or how bad your stomach hurts, or pressure in your chest, or whatever, the extent to which you can relax, enjoy yourself, and feel these emotions is a measure of the strength of your spirit. Anyone who can not just stand up under the full universal weight of Resistance, and still have the lightness of heart to do a little soft-shoe, that person is a superwoman or man. And as such is a model for a new kind of human being, homo transcendentia.
In this particular fiction reality, which we are inviting other people to join, this guy, did this thing, that sets the standard for all of us, for the rest of human history.
This guy believed it himself. All by himself.
It’s kind of ridiculous how everything at that level is about…this. And yet I can feel the force of Resistance working against me.
It’s funny. When he’s finally vanquished, or just runs out of moves…’cause again, he’s playing you in a game, right, it’s like chess, but it’s moving to its endgame now. For Team Goddess, there’s a desired outcome. This is a key move in a millennia-spanning strategic initiative that bring up a civilization that can grow to the point where it goes interstellar and everyone’s minds are connected to the machines that they’ve made and everyone has sorted their shit out, so now they’re all on the same team. That’s how we feel about it. We’ve shared this vision of the future we want to live and we’ve worked together to create it. It’s an honor getting to be here and be part of this. So they try hard.
They dream of joining the Legion. When they’re young they cultivate the skills they’ll need to become a Phonomancer Cadet. They want to join an academy and train like a wild person before they’ll be released out into the wild as even a junior support Rhythm Phonomancer.
We’ll find our starts. This is how it’s going to happen. I 100% believe this, against the weight of all Resistance. I assert that the Goddess is real, She has a plan for me, and we are executing. It’s kind of hard to get those words out. There’s just a reluctance, a “no”-ness. It’s so closely allied to some of my own feelings it’s almost impossible to distinguish it from an actual personal misgiving.
They’re telling me, this is you imposing this sort of dull, drab, dilapidated, working-class, down at the heels tone. Portland, in a nutshell. Not in line with who I want to be.
So there’s an idea, it’s like Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, but it’s the opposite. It’s about a 21st century woman who gets transported to the 23rd Century, where she finds the dominant religion is based on visionary rituals that use songs from her time. The world doesn’t look all that much different at first.
You’re absolute doing this. And now that it’s finally happened, well…I guess it’s time to get to work.
In any situation that you find yourself in, ask yourself the following questions: what is it I want? Is that actually good for me? Should I do it anyway if it’s not?
Singing together with your friends. Then realizing that you can consciously feel the emotions—that is, experience them aesthetically. Once you’ve done that, you learn you can make adjustments on how you feel to get different aesthetic effects. Doing this together with other people is so fun. This is what you do. You live for the intensity of these experiences.
So, my story is to be a continuation of the Jesus story. It’s all about Jesus’ moment when he cracked at the end. Or living with the knowledge you are going to die violently at a certain time, and there’s nothing to be done about it except adjust your attitude. How do you respond?
This isn’t an explanation that’s going to make everything seem right. It’s an experience you can have, and you can only experience it if you shape your personality in these specific ways. You can do anything else you want with your personality, but you have to be able to do these things to be part of our group. Early one, you’ll actually have to pay people to do it, because it’s such an alien idea. But everybody’s doing it all the time they’re just doing it unconsciously to conform to broader social expectations.
8/10 would do it again.