Ceremony conducted Sat, 19 Feb 2022
Dosage: 8g cubensis backed with 4g Syrian rue water extract, 3 hits of pot, vaped DMT
Unedited notes transcribed from video:
There it is. Confirmation at the highest level. This is all real. It’s all happening. Even though right at this minute (in the immediate aftermath) I can feel uncertainty and fear pushing their weight against this belief. My belief that this is all real has been the key. Really real, where I can really commit. Put my life into it. And I’ve done that! I did it by quitting my job.
And the result…was a beyond gorgeous celestial vision of the gods. Of Ma and Pa, and all their Kids, looming over me as these titanic statues in this cavern through which I being brought, on my back, on a boat, on a river, and I’m watching these vaulted architectures pass by overhead. And the biggest one of all is the one with all of them. The Family. Ma and Pa and the Kids. Represented in this vast and cosmic space.
I can’t really (describe), in the moment, the depth of wonder I experienced, the extravagant detail of it all, you could spend lifetimes trying to describe it.
I just want to say that…God, I feel good 😊 And don’t stop believin’, Pa, don’t stop believin’. Oh, My God.
Just encountered Satanic resistance in one of my visions, coping with it now.
46 & 2
I’m the one who brings phonomancy to the world.
I’m the one who changes this civilization.
I’m the one who helps solve the Infinite Question.
I am Weapon Delta, Herald of the Holy Ma, sent here on a mission to save the world.
“46 & 2” was a stupendous test of my will in the face of Resistance.
Resistance being that last little bit between (maya), where it’s just me doing the work, and beliefspace, where all of a sudden, it’s easy. As soon as you believe, the energy starts flowing into you. Like, (right now), I feel great. I was exhausted. I haven’t eaten in five days. But now it’s like I’ve suddenly remembered, “Oh right, I’m inhabiting a very, very fit body, I’m a very youthful 52,” and I feel fucking awesome, totally energized.
Anyway there was this whole visionary thing that confirm this “coming out” as a superhero who was going to introduce the world to this new practice and found the first phonomantic church. When I came to believe all that stuff is happening, all of a sudden everything changed. It got super white (that is, my whole visionary field was suffused with a brilliant white light). Well, at first, it was like I was being birthed and I could feel the feeling of it, the searing intensity of the joy and sense of arrival, but I could not participate in that emotion, I just felt this sort of blunted “Good for them!” sort of feeling, which was insane because I should have been absolutely flabbergasted and overjoyed at this culmination of all my hopes, but (Resistance) pushes against you, and you’ve got to focus. If you have a bad moment, it’ll totally push you off track, but usually you can come right back. If you’re concentrating all the time, it has less opportunities to take you down.
(loss of train of thought)
I think that what happened was I observed that intense “emergence” scene, had a blunted response to it because I was still not completely able to believe, but then…I was. I made an imaginative leap and entered a reality where everything I’m seeing is true. I believed. And then the energy flowed. Doing the work was tremendously grueling, but then it was effortless. It was no longer me working under my own power, but me doing the work and powered by Spirit.
Anyway, it’s time to fight the devil.
“Flower” was an opportunity to fashion an image of anima under fire.
You can’t complain about the task. If you believed 100%, this would be so easy. The exercise would be over and you’d just be having a blast. But until you believe 100%, Pa, it’s going to be a (grueling) workout like this every time. But you’re getting stronger. You gotta understand, this is a staggering achievement, being able to do this all the way through under control. Dealing with everything that’s trying to stop you from doing it. The thing you have to overcome, Pa, is your lack of belief. When you believe, it allows for the flow of divine energy to enter you, and as long as you’re in accordance with the True Will, it’ll support you in everything you do.
Getting through Space Lord was all about focusing and getting ready for the reprise of Moonage Daydream. And that was a titanic struggle of getting to the right place of belief and being observant of all these things and setting it up, saying, “This is what’s going to happen”, and then it does. And something reaches out to you and changes the entire tenor of the situation, gloriously. And you believe. The game is to maintain the awareness that that kind of thing is possible. Constant effort against Resistance to stay upbeat (gives way to a flow state in which no effort is necessary).
COULD IT BE MAGIC
Obviously, that turned into an incredibly celestial event of overcoming Resistance and believing. We’re almost there! Almost there.
ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA
Ah, fuck, it’s already faded.
Oh it was just about prepping the body and the spirit to absorb the sensory event of the impact of that last chord. Managing and being perfectly aware of how that belief establishes itself in psychedelic space, like, what do you see.
Sometimes you see fireworks, sometimes you see scenes you have to come to terms with, psychological scenes that might not seem like they have a lot to do with you, but it’s better to play the game that everything happens for a reason and everything that comes up in your awareness is something for you to interact with (and derive meaning from).
I’m coming to terms right now with how much of my inner life is conditioned by where I grew up. The economic and cultural conditions of Tewksbury, MA in the 1970s. The grubbiness and the anxiety. Raising a family in those bleak conditions.
I LOVE IT
Identify how you want to feel or what you want out of a particular exchange or interaction that you’re having, define it, and then concentrate on that image and draw closer until your experience matches it.
If you have a problem, take a second, frame the problem as best as you can understand it, then wait for an answer. At which point, one of our higher selves comes in and states the desired outcome for the situation. It offers an image of the situation well-resolved. And that’s your instruction to execute.
(Pretty awesome footage of enthusigasm)
Congratulations, Pa, you did it (throws devil horns) yeeaaaaahhhh!!!
Your everyday existence is your part in the game. Everything you do should be about promoting the desired outcome of the game.
Instructions from above.
POLEGNA E TODORA
The presence is the Goddess, everything else is just the game.
Seek that presence in your directions.
Ascend higher in the ranks of what’s possible as you take your place the great symphony she has constructed.
This civilization that will save the world and lead us into the future.
An extra-terrestrial civilization, clad in magic blue hexgaons, all human intellects constellated with each other, a beautiful piece of jewelry offered for Her consideration.
God bless you, Pa.
You need to recalibrate at a very fundamental level your idea of what’s happening in order for this to work.
CALL ME MAYBE
Fuck yes! Complete belief has been achieved. God, it fucking feels good!
I just imagine doing that in the company of a bunch of other people who know exactly what you’re going through, and are all trying to do something similar, and all have an idea of what should be happening, based on…a TV show that they watched, which taught them subliminally how to be a believer in this religion.
That’s what I saw. That’s the idea. To make a show about young, attractive people who all belong to this religion, and they go to this place on Saturdays, and they take mushrooms and they dance and they sing together. And you hear about it and you’re like, “Uh, okay,” but then the show shows you what it’s like, and it’s like the greatest nightclub ever. It’s amazing, the performance blows your mind, and the idea is like…
There has to be a character, I guess, who is new to all this, and we can see them reacting to it to understand how wild and impactful it is. Like, “This is fucking incredible, how come nobody is talking about this, this is amazing! OH, THEY’RE ON DRUGS. “
I got confused for a second there thinking about the implication of writing this as a novel. And like what you would need to make the TV show.
These people, it’s about their everyday life. And these people, they’re like CrossFitters.
Like, how would you make a TV about CrossFit? Could you? Ultimately, it has to be about characters growing up. Facing problems, becoming the people they want to be. What’s a show like 90210 about? Or the one about people in the apartments? Or “Friends”? It’s about characters relating. Or “Cheers.” That’s about a bar—about people drinking together in a bar. But they are going through things. Dealing with life. Some are just the chorus, but eventually they get arcs of their own. Over the course of this show we find these people who have been rivals or irritants becoming family. Somebody has an ambition they want to achieve. There are things in the way. To get what they want, they are going to have to grow in some way.
It's like CrossFit. The gym becomes the nexus for their everyday lives. Their community.
In fact, it’d be a comedy along the lines of “Community” or “Parks and Rec” about these believers. And it takes place in this science fictional reality where they are taken quite seriously, and they’re actually a burgeoning movement that’s taking over the world. As the show goes on, the scope expands, and it becomes about how this idea is taking over the world. And the transformations that result. So it starts off as a workplace comedy and then becomes a epic about people trying to prevent the end of the world. It’s all part of the Divine Plan.
And it all starts right here, with belief (throws devil horns). Ow! (Segues into Baby I’m a Star)
You have to make a decision to change the aesthetic quality of your thinking. To give it a different character, a different personality. Assign it a personality, then start talking to it. She will faithfully mirror who you are.
Feel the feeling, focus it on somebody, make it real for you.
Wow, holy shit.
Love you, Pa.
That was fucking insane.
(turns on light) Oh, this is so bright, and so very very yellow, which is the color of discouragement. That early 70s discouragement. Dropping into muddy ditches and just the most bizarre, barely human, troglodytic kind of existence at the bottom. Resistance uses images from that as it tries to prevent me from imposing my will on the situation.
I just want to say, enjoy this moment of perfect, sublime approval. And a wonderful whopping dose of “I fucking told you so!” and celebrating with a community of people who all believe the same things you do. And understand what you went through in order to bring these teachings to them. And love you for it. ‘Cause you showed them a way to be that utterly transformed their lives. They became exactly who they wanted to be. They’re on a team. And the price of admission is, you have to fuckin’ get over yourself. We’re on a team, it’s a play, we’re playing make-believe like little kids, but we’re going to live inside this reality all the time. It’ll take some work to adopt this. This is the idea: we’re going to act exactly as if all this stuff is real. And then you lay out the parameters of the game. And what is the goal of the game? The goal of the game is to remember you’re playing a game. Under any circumstance, under any stress. No matter what. Up to and including the point where you can remember you’re playing a game as somebody is pounding nails through your wrists into wood. If you can undergo that, and show that kind of mastery over your physical form, you have penetrated the next world. You won. You have to have. There’s no way you could… You have to reach a level where you are crucified with a smile on your face. And just like a sad grin, but a big “ffffffuck you!” as an expression of ungodly (or rather, godly) mastery of self and time and space. And able to call in the Absolute which is normally only accessed through high doses of psychedelics. But able to do that in normal consciousness while one is being nailed to a cross, and getting a big shit eating grin on your face because you are the very model of savior. It’s gotta be with a big shit-eating smile or it does not fucking count.
Can I get a fuckin’ amen?
And that friends is a dose of the spiritual medicine I’ve been seeking. And oh, isn’t it good. Just let that shit soak in, Pa, and use it to fuel your fantasy of performing this show with this group, you’ve got a team. They all believe the same things. They’re like, “Yeah yeah yeah, you started it, but I see where it’s going. This shit is divinely inspired. You’re kind of a dick. But this shit is from another fucking world and I am totally down with it. I’ll take it from here.”
Following the instructions you gave us, which were, “Go out and do this show.” Learn all these songs. Learn how to sing ‘em. Learn how to dance. It’s not a question of whether you like it or not. This is the belief system. Imagine. Pretend that you love this belief system. It has become the foundation of your identity. It’s become your community. All your friends. People get together, they get married. It’s all about the gym. Working out together. And then sharing in terms of what goes on in preparing for workouts. Along with mom stuff on top of it.
Doh. There it goes, I lost it.
Is it necessary to smoke more marijuana at this point?
Adopting a stance…
And I need to see myself thru the lens of this situation
I’m interacting with some people in a space. And for now they represent my thoughts. But eventually, when this concept is explained to others, roles that their consciousness could inhabit, it becomes a story. And then a play. And then a film. A process of realizing an idea received from Spirit. From the deeper levels of being. And then using it at a higher level, if your intention means it this way, to influence people towards the True Will. It doesn’t take obedience…She just wants you to be in love with stuff. And if you’re not in love with stuff, She’s gonna ask you why. Why aren’t you in love with stuff? And ask you to investigate that. Because if you’re not in love with anything, there’s something wrong with you. It’s not unfixable. At all. There’s injury, but the treatment is training. The prescription is, getting on a program, and working with your spiritual advisor who also happens to be your workout coach. Really it’s just taking CrossFit all the way—screwing the pooch and sticking it in all the way. All the way to actually being the religious cult people mocked.
Create documents that describe all this as actual, existing fact. Create an alternate reality people can enter.
If you can see yourself from that level, you are an idea seeded by Her. To execute at this level of reality, to create ripples of real-world events.
If you can adopt that frame, Pa, it should change what you see in your visual space. Use that as a source of energy in the moment. You can get better VFX if you lean into in the moment. Feel the tendency against it, but nevertheless make a decision to feel the way you want to feel. You are a person shooting a scene in your head. You are modeling a reality. How do you want to feel in that moment.
This is a way to do religion but also a way to see life through someone else’s eyes. What is it like to be them? And therefore grow your consciousness.
We have a vision of what we want to the world to look like. Everybody gets a say. We hash it out. Compromise, come up with new things, until we reach a consensus. “This is what we should have.” Then we work towards that.
We work out interpersonally how to get you closer to what you want.
(I seem to be describing the evolution of the religion as a game).
(or maybe it’s the fate of the civilization)
You make move toward what you want. They counter with a move.
You make another move toward your mutual goal. They make theirs. But you’ve got
to find a way to reach consensus, because you’re being hunted—there’s a time on
this. When times runs out, if you haven’t reached your goal, it’s game over.
Every ten thousand years or so. When time runs out, that’s it. Game over. You can play a new game if you want. But everything in our human history is contained within that one game.
The game is simple. The Goddess has posed a problem. Starting from a soup of quantum particles, evolve a physical reality that can even give rise to sentient intelligences that learn to cooperate to build a civilization that allows a critical mass of ten billion souls to incarnate the Goddess in their consciousnesses.
Your religion is art.
Every day people are thinking of themselves are artists
These productions give meaning to their lives
Everything is bout putting on the show. You keep putting on bigger and more bad ass shows. And you’re so proud of what you’re putting together. And you love showing it off. It’s not a matter of outdoing other versions, but supporting, like bands. Not religions, but bands. You’re in a band, but you’re a fan of this other band, so you go to their shows to support them.
Try to be one of those people that people want to talk to. Be someone people love to talk to. How? By listening. You can conquer the world on that.
In the TV show you’re rooting for them to prevent the end of the world.
They’re running out of time. There’s a clock running out. World events are getting crazier and crazier.
The do bigger and bigger doses, suffering and suffering to remove more blocks from the wall, somehow hoping to relieve the pressure because it gets so great it blows.
They have visions of the apocalypse. Bad dreams. There’s a sense of futility in the air. The demons of despair and everywhere, and so powerful. Doing the ceremonies is getting more difficult. Harder and harder to break through. Sometimes they can’t, and they’re traumatized. It’s awful to see one of their best and brightest take a huge chance that doesn’t pay off. He ends up psychotically depressed and suicidal.
That was seriously the best thing that ever happened to me. In my whole fucking life.
I can’t believe it.
But the main thing is, tell the story of this religion. The people who are already doing it, following these teachings. Living this lifestyle. It’s transforming their lives, but destroyed them, too,
Do you want to be in this story, or not? We’re not going to try to convince you of anything.
If you want to feel like that, do this.
Listen, you did a fucking fantastic job, Pa. You are very very very very loved. Now I want you to zone out and enjoy yourself, my friend. You have earned it.
You assemble a team of smart, inquisitive people, and you put them in a room. Somebody’s bedroom. What are we doing here? They start to look around for clues. They realize, this room exists in a different world. One in which there is this religion called phonomancy. There are books, and posters, and videos. They watch them. It looks amazing. “what have we stumbled on?” From the details in the room, they try to piece together what it means. Then they find out they can actually attend this gym out in the world. So they go there, in the real world, and there are these people actually doing this thing. They are actors, of course, but they are existing in this reality, and the incorporate the contestants on this show into their training and preparations for their next performance. Then soon enough, there’s another group of people who have been invited to visit the room, and they’re getting involved, and a couple of the actors are phased out, and over time, as the initial group gets more experience, it becomes real, a real thing.
“What do you mean, we can do this if we want?”
I remember thinking during the Stereomyth, “This is going so slow, but I know at the end it’ll feel like I time traveled,” and that’s exactly what happened. Trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
I know, it’s like we’re just waiting to be discovered.
You quit your job. You’ve seen the end. This is it. What we’ve been shooting for.
I love you all so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.